Letter from Sibyl Hosking to Fred: 8/10/1927
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A letter from Sibyl Hosking in Chissamba, Angola, to her fiancée and fellow missionary Fred Stokey in Dondi, Angola
1927-08-10: ~AUDIO~---images---comment---transcript---notes---links---site navigation
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1927-08-10: audio---images---~COMMENT~---transcript---notes---links---site navigation
It's August, and Sibyl's and Fred's letters to the Mission Board announcing their engagement may not even have arrived yet in Canada, so they still believe a December wedding is possible.
1927-08-10: audio---images---comment---~TRANSCRIPT~---notes---links---site navigation
Chissamba, Aug. 10, Wed. evening 10 o'clock.
My darling boy, dearly beloved Fred:-
I'm sitting all alone in front of the fire-place at this hour thinking of you and how happy you have made me. It seems strange that one year ago you meant nothing to me and now you mean so much. Now as I think of the last 4 1/2 days I live over again many very pleasant hours which we spent together. I enjoyed Friday very much, my first glimpses of you coming down the path from Stead's, looking so happy. I could see your reflection in the open window. Then as you brought my parcels over to this room and sat beside me cutting the strings. I haven't time to go into detail and relate all the little things which gave me pleasure. But I felt truly happy and satisfied when I heard you say at various times that, "I love you" or when you would give me a gentle touch perhaps a pat on the arm. These little touches and smiles seemed to express the same feelings as your words. I know that I am very slow at displaying my affections for a person, but when I love someone, I truly love them. I can't get acquainted quickly, but old friends I never forget. Every evening when we were here in front of the fire with each other I was happy, one Sunday I had a beautiful time and will always have with me, various delightful scenes, your sparkling eyes etc. Already it seems a long time since last evening and I am looking forward to the 18th with a great deal of pleasure, but as I said last night, on Thurs. + Fri. evenings at least we must retire early, we'll decide later about Sat. + Sun.
This morning I was awakened by Eliz. saying Sibyl there is Fred going now and I just heard the last few sounds of the motor as my dear one sped further and further away. I sent you my heart full of love and a prayer went out that you would arrive quite safely and have a good journey. So many times I thought of you and how hungry you would be before noon. I blamed myself very much for listening to you and letting you go without a little lunch of some kind. I'm sure you have been very tired today. I hope that you did nothing but write my letter, after supper this evening and then went off to bed and that now you are sound asleep. I did not stay long at the hospital this morning, came home and went upstairs with Eliz. She was sewing and I was lying down. We chatted and tried to make plans.
Now I'll tell you the latest ideas and you can think them over before next Thurs. How will Dec. 16 suit you for the day? Shall we have Mr. Stead take us to S.P. early that morning for the Pg. service and get back here for service in the church at 12 noon. By that time Kamundongo + Dondi friends should be here. Luncheon at 1 P.M. and sometime that afternoon we leave for our own little home or what are your wishes - to stay here for a few days? I want to get from somebody a nice beast to kill, a tender one. Other plans for asking the girls, Edith + Mary to help I'll not bother you with in detail. For the service in the church I thought perhaps something like this. Mr. Collins to play, after we enter sing English hymns + service by Dr. Sanders, a quartette in Umbundu by Suse, Heir, Gidioni + Kalufele. (The underlined you known - S was the first one who entertained us + G the second.) Umbundu service by Mr. McDowell + singing of Umbundu hymns. Please give your opinion about this because you were at Esther's wedding and was looking on from the outside. I hope to be dressed in white, without a hat, a tiny bandeau of orange blossoms and to be unattended, Mr. Stead to take my Father's place and what about yourself will you need support or not? If this date does not suit you of course we can put it off until after the new year. The 18th is on Fri, and when would you like to go to Sachikela on the following Monday train or on Thursday. I cannot think just now of any other plans which would interest you but be sure to tell me what you think of these. Do you wish the two services or not? I want things to be simple and sensible but I would like it of course to be a very happy day. I think if we go to S.P. in the a.m. together, then back here and then off again to Dondi that afternoon we should have a very happy day don't you? Or should the Pg. service be the day before so that the real wedding day won't be too much of a rush.
Now my dear One, the fire is getting very low and my eyes are heavy so I'll say night, night wishing you pleasant dreams and God's richest blessing. Mrs. Stead, only came down for one little prayer service. I have missed you very much this evening, it seems so quiet and lonely, here in the big rocker all by myself. I send you Fred dear, a heart full of warmest love, with hugs and kisses, affectionately, Sibyl.
Thurs. 9:20 P.M.
My dearest:- Your letter arrived quite safely this evening and I was very glad to get it. I'm glad that you had no mishaps, but I'm sorry that you were so tired. However I'll try to do better next time and see that you return without fever. You know Miss R. is rather a motherly sort and says that you can't go without your breakfast even if you say you can.
Well I can't just put into writing what my feelings have been like to-day. Last night by the time I went upstairs it was between 11+12. Then Eliz. started talking to me telling me a conversation which she and Miss M. had in the afternoon. Well, these things kept me awake for a long time. To-day I could have just shaken myself real hard. Things seem to be pulling me in two opposite directions. First I want to be fair with the home board and not be married until their letter arrives and then my own personal feeling is the same as yours. Personally I would be quite willing to be married before going to Galangue, but I don't expect that the letter will arrive before the middle of Nov. Really I didn't know that I was of a weepy nature, but at least three times today I have found my eyes filled with tears and wishing I could talk to Mother or someone who would understand. Well I know that I should not be writing about all this foolishness, I'm much to practical shall I say to be acting like this, but however.
Well it is a good thing that you reached Dondi when you did if there were so many sick folks. I hope that you were able to help Lauretta and the others. Thanks so much Fred for sending the cough drops for Elizabeth, she appreciated your thoughtfulness very much. I have not seen any other medicines though as yet.
I had a package from Mary, such beautiful gifts as she sent me. Everybody seems to be so kind, I do hope that we can do the thing that is wise and best. I wish that I was in a house with anyone else but Miss M. I'll be so glad to have Edith up here next week, even if it is just for a few days. Mrs. Webster is so kind and thoughtful too. I had a very nice note from Mrs. Tucker giving me a hearty welcome to Dondi.
Well I suppose I had better stop writing now and go to bed. I'm sure you'll think this is a queer note and that I have made nothing clear. My eyes are heavy and smarting and I have some sort of hurt (I'm not sure if that is the correct explanation) in the centre of my chest. Perhaps in Sunday's letter I'll be able to put in something more cheerful.
You might, might, write a nice long letter to cheer me up. I need it. Why? I can't explain. I miss you very much.
Today a man arrived here with a large bad sore. He had a letter addressed to you, so I took upon myself the responsibility of opening it. It was from Mr. Hastings, so I'm letting the man stay until you come next week. His name is Barnaba.
Please greet the folks at Bailundu for me. I don't suppose it will be any use for me to send a letter by Monday's train, will it? You won't be there, at Dondi.
Please get well rested up before next week and I'll not be responsible for you looking so tired, although nobody could say it was my fault this time. Miss Rawlings blamed the difficult travelling on the motor-cycle.
With much love and fond memories, I'll be happy too when I'm in Dondi with you, but don't blame me for putting it off. I don't see how it can possibly happen before December.
Yours fondly, Sibyl.
My darling boy, dearly beloved Fred:-
I'm sitting all alone in front of the fire-place at this hour thinking of you and how happy you have made me. It seems strange that one year ago you meant nothing to me and now you mean so much. Now as I think of the last 4 1/2 days I live over again many very pleasant hours which we spent together. I enjoyed Friday very much, my first glimpses of you coming down the path from Stead's, looking so happy. I could see your reflection in the open window. Then as you brought my parcels over to this room and sat beside me cutting the strings. I haven't time to go into detail and relate all the little things which gave me pleasure. But I felt truly happy and satisfied when I heard you say at various times that, "I love you" or when you would give me a gentle touch perhaps a pat on the arm. These little touches and smiles seemed to express the same feelings as your words. I know that I am very slow at displaying my affections for a person, but when I love someone, I truly love them. I can't get acquainted quickly, but old friends I never forget. Every evening when we were here in front of the fire with each other I was happy, one Sunday I had a beautiful time and will always have with me, various delightful scenes, your sparkling eyes etc. Already it seems a long time since last evening and I am looking forward to the 18th with a great deal of pleasure, but as I said last night, on Thurs. + Fri. evenings at least we must retire early, we'll decide later about Sat. + Sun.
This morning I was awakened by Eliz. saying Sibyl there is Fred going now and I just heard the last few sounds of the motor as my dear one sped further and further away. I sent you my heart full of love and a prayer went out that you would arrive quite safely and have a good journey. So many times I thought of you and how hungry you would be before noon. I blamed myself very much for listening to you and letting you go without a little lunch of some kind. I'm sure you have been very tired today. I hope that you did nothing but write my letter, after supper this evening and then went off to bed and that now you are sound asleep. I did not stay long at the hospital this morning, came home and went upstairs with Eliz. She was sewing and I was lying down. We chatted and tried to make plans.
Now I'll tell you the latest ideas and you can think them over before next Thurs. How will Dec. 16 suit you for the day? Shall we have Mr. Stead take us to S.P. early that morning for the Pg. service and get back here for service in the church at 12 noon. By that time Kamundongo + Dondi friends should be here. Luncheon at 1 P.M. and sometime that afternoon we leave for our own little home or what are your wishes - to stay here for a few days? I want to get from somebody a nice beast to kill, a tender one. Other plans for asking the girls, Edith + Mary to help I'll not bother you with in detail. For the service in the church I thought perhaps something like this. Mr. Collins to play, after we enter sing English hymns + service by Dr. Sanders, a quartette in Umbundu by Suse, Heir, Gidioni + Kalufele. (The underlined you known - S was the first one who entertained us + G the second.) Umbundu service by Mr. McDowell + singing of Umbundu hymns. Please give your opinion about this because you were at Esther's wedding and was looking on from the outside. I hope to be dressed in white, without a hat, a tiny bandeau of orange blossoms and to be unattended, Mr. Stead to take my Father's place and what about yourself will you need support or not? If this date does not suit you of course we can put it off until after the new year. The 18th is on Fri, and when would you like to go to Sachikela on the following Monday train or on Thursday. I cannot think just now of any other plans which would interest you but be sure to tell me what you think of these. Do you wish the two services or not? I want things to be simple and sensible but I would like it of course to be a very happy day. I think if we go to S.P. in the a.m. together, then back here and then off again to Dondi that afternoon we should have a very happy day don't you? Or should the Pg. service be the day before so that the real wedding day won't be too much of a rush.
Now my dear One, the fire is getting very low and my eyes are heavy so I'll say night, night wishing you pleasant dreams and God's richest blessing. Mrs. Stead, only came down for one little prayer service. I have missed you very much this evening, it seems so quiet and lonely, here in the big rocker all by myself. I send you Fred dear, a heart full of warmest love, with hugs and kisses, affectionately, Sibyl.
Thurs. 9:20 P.M.
My dearest:- Your letter arrived quite safely this evening and I was very glad to get it. I'm glad that you had no mishaps, but I'm sorry that you were so tired. However I'll try to do better next time and see that you return without fever. You know Miss R. is rather a motherly sort and says that you can't go without your breakfast even if you say you can.
Well I can't just put into writing what my feelings have been like to-day. Last night by the time I went upstairs it was between 11+12. Then Eliz. started talking to me telling me a conversation which she and Miss M. had in the afternoon. Well, these things kept me awake for a long time. To-day I could have just shaken myself real hard. Things seem to be pulling me in two opposite directions. First I want to be fair with the home board and not be married until their letter arrives and then my own personal feeling is the same as yours. Personally I would be quite willing to be married before going to Galangue, but I don't expect that the letter will arrive before the middle of Nov. Really I didn't know that I was of a weepy nature, but at least three times today I have found my eyes filled with tears and wishing I could talk to Mother or someone who would understand. Well I know that I should not be writing about all this foolishness, I'm much to practical shall I say to be acting like this, but however.
Well it is a good thing that you reached Dondi when you did if there were so many sick folks. I hope that you were able to help Lauretta and the others. Thanks so much Fred for sending the cough drops for Elizabeth, she appreciated your thoughtfulness very much. I have not seen any other medicines though as yet.
I had a package from Mary, such beautiful gifts as she sent me. Everybody seems to be so kind, I do hope that we can do the thing that is wise and best. I wish that I was in a house with anyone else but Miss M. I'll be so glad to have Edith up here next week, even if it is just for a few days. Mrs. Webster is so kind and thoughtful too. I had a very nice note from Mrs. Tucker giving me a hearty welcome to Dondi.
Well I suppose I had better stop writing now and go to bed. I'm sure you'll think this is a queer note and that I have made nothing clear. My eyes are heavy and smarting and I have some sort of hurt (I'm not sure if that is the correct explanation) in the centre of my chest. Perhaps in Sunday's letter I'll be able to put in something more cheerful.
You might, might, write a nice long letter to cheer me up. I need it. Why? I can't explain. I miss you very much.
Today a man arrived here with a large bad sore. He had a letter addressed to you, so I took upon myself the responsibility of opening it. It was from Mr. Hastings, so I'm letting the man stay until you come next week. His name is Barnaba.
Please greet the folks at Bailundu for me. I don't suppose it will be any use for me to send a letter by Monday's train, will it? You won't be there, at Dondi.
Please get well rested up before next week and I'll not be responsible for you looking so tired, although nobody could say it was my fault this time. Miss Rawlings blamed the difficult travelling on the motor-cycle.
With much love and fond memories, I'll be happy too when I'm in Dondi with you, but don't blame me for putting it off. I don't see how it can possibly happen before December.
Yours fondly, Sibyl.
1927-08-10: audio---images---comment---transcript---~NOTES~---links---site navigation
1.
Mission folks: I'm planning to do more with these people on the Non-Family page for mission folks at:Stead: Rev. Arthur and Edith Stead (or Steed?), a missionary couple.
Mary: Mary Hurlbut, a missionary teacher from England in Dondi
Dr. Sanders: a longtime missionary
Miss R: must be Miss Rawlings, another missionary
Eliz: Elizabeth Read, a missionary teacher in Chissamba
Miss M: Miss Melville, a longtime missionary in Chissamba
Mrs. Webster: came with her late husband in 1887, so a very longtime missionary
Mrs. Tucker: of Dr. and Mrs. Tucker
Mr. Collins: some missionary
Mr. McDowell: the missionary whose young son Curtis lived with Fred in Sibyl for a while in Massachusetts later on. He has a Non-Family page of his own.
2.
I wish that I was in a house with anyone else but Miss M.
This is sort of interesting. There were two Miss Melvilles. Helen Melville wrote a very nice letter to Sibyl the following year:In that letter she said:
I love you, altho I never seemed able to get near to you or make you understand me.
I figure that Elizabeth Read also had trouble with Miss Melville, and that that was why she was talking to Sibyl:
Then Eliz. started talking to me telling me a conversation which she and Miss M. had in the afternoon
And maybe it wasn't just Miss Melville; we have the following:I am so delighted that other members of the Chissamba household are beginning to be a little more human and sociable, it does make a difference to have people reasonably nice.
Here I am gossipping about a situation from nearly a hundred years ago.
3.
Mr. Collins to play, after we enter sing English hymns + service by Dr. Sanders
and
Umbundu service by Mr. McDowell + singing of Umbundu hymns.
Interesting that Dr. Sanders, the Umbundu language expert at the mission, was doing the English service and Mr. McDowell was doing the Umbundu part. AG says there were objections to including local customs in the service, so conceivably Fred and Sibyl knew that Dr. Sanders would not want to do the Umbundu part? Or perhaps it was related to the fact that Mr. McDowell was black, and it seemed more natural to them to have a black man do the Umbundu part - even though Mr. McDowell came from Alabama. In any case, it's clear that the two of them had already talked about having an Umbundu part.
Mission folks: I'm planning to do more with these people on the Non-Family page for mission folks at:Stead: Rev. Arthur and Edith Stead (or Steed?), a missionary couple.
Mary: Mary Hurlbut, a missionary teacher from England in Dondi
Dr. Sanders: a longtime missionary
Miss R: must be Miss Rawlings, another missionary
Eliz: Elizabeth Read, a missionary teacher in Chissamba
Miss M: Miss Melville, a longtime missionary in Chissamba
Mrs. Webster: came with her late husband in 1887, so a very longtime missionary
Mrs. Tucker: of Dr. and Mrs. Tucker
Mr. Collins: some missionary
Mr. McDowell: the missionary whose young son Curtis lived with Fred in Sibyl for a while in Massachusetts later on. He has a Non-Family page of his own.
2.
I wish that I was in a house with anyone else but Miss M.
This is sort of interesting. There were two Miss Melvilles. Helen Melville wrote a very nice letter to Sibyl the following year:In that letter she said:
I love you, altho I never seemed able to get near to you or make you understand me.
I figure that Elizabeth Read also had trouble with Miss Melville, and that that was why she was talking to Sibyl:
Then Eliz. started talking to me telling me a conversation which she and Miss M. had in the afternoon
And maybe it wasn't just Miss Melville; we have the following:I am so delighted that other members of the Chissamba household are beginning to be a little more human and sociable, it does make a difference to have people reasonably nice.
Here I am gossipping about a situation from nearly a hundred years ago.
3.
Mr. Collins to play, after we enter sing English hymns + service by Dr. Sanders
and
Umbundu service by Mr. McDowell + singing of Umbundu hymns.
Interesting that Dr. Sanders, the Umbundu language expert at the mission, was doing the English service and Mr. McDowell was doing the Umbundu part. AG says there were objections to including local customs in the service, so conceivably Fred and Sibyl knew that Dr. Sanders would not want to do the Umbundu part? Or perhaps it was related to the fact that Mr. McDowell was black, and it seemed more natural to them to have a black man do the Umbundu part - even though Mr. McDowell came from Alabama. In any case, it's clear that the two of them had already talked about having an Umbundu part.
1927-08-10: audio---images---comment---transcript---notes---~LINKS~---site navigation
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